I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
