do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
