And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
