whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
