I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
