So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
