Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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