I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
