I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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