Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I smell like Dick and happiness
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
