Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Randomize
