I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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