Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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