Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
i just made my gag reflex go away.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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