It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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