maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Randomize
