Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
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