i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
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