i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Randomize
