It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
