We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
