That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize