Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
