And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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