She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
