so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
