You really coming over, don't trick.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize