mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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