Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
