Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I will pee on everything he values.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
