I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
