There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
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