i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Come see our sink grown plant.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Randomize
