at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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