i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
The best revenge is premature balding
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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