i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
