Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
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