doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
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