these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
