sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
