This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
