All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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