I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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