Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
