Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Randomize
