dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
