That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
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