What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
