where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
