Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Will exercising make me less horny?
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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