I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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