I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
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