This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
