I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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