Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
