i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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