hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
