My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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