Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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