so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
