I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
so let's talk penis.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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