What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
